COHENG!!

Of Randomness

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:10:24 GMT

Coming home in less than two months!

Went to North Korea. It was nuts.

Happy Birthday, Nick Nedin.

I just downloaded the Darjeeling movie that W was referencing and am excited to watch it.

Bryson and W, watch out for a Port Dover 2007 post.

I need a job in Toronto. Hopefully for when I get back.

Ditto, a job.

HIIT cardio melts fat. 5.3% body fat. Goal: reached.

Update.

Mon, 26 May 2008 09:17:21 GMT

Insiders close to the situation are claiming that as of today, Gilad will now officially be referred to as Jonny Turbo Body.

More on this as it develops.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:14:26 GMT

Is LiveJournal dead?

Ah, what the heck.

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 01:55:30 GMT

Stolen from Miranda.

Oh My Chicken

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:20:16 GMT

CJ, a good friend of Brysons and a stand-up dude in every right, is traveling in Korea. He gives me a call yesterday telling me he's in Busan and that he wants to come down to Masan. Fucking right... i'm pumped. It'll be cool to have a familiar face around... somebody I could talk to about common people, and someone who could tell me all about China.

So we agree that he come visit and stay the night. Two hours later, I suffer from the worst food poisoning of my life. I barf over 10 times in the span of like 3 hours. Can't hold down anything... not even a sip of water. Clearly. Of all days to get food poisoning, I get it the day CJ comes.

So what happens? I meet up with him and his friend, Adam... and Dawna comes along. We meet at McDonalds... but the smell of the fried food is fucking me up, so we leave McD's. Outside, I feel like i'm going to hurl, so I have no choice but to go home. Get there, barf my brains out, while Dawna is kind enough to give CJ and Adam a small tour of the bar scene in Masan. They get wasted, I crumble at home... and now I feel like a douche. CJ's off to Seoul so I won't see him again until we get to Canada... man... the bad chicken really fucked this one up.

Onions

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:18:19 GMT

About five minutes removed from watching the end of the Raptors/Celtics game and all I can say here from my pad in South Korea is, "ONIONS BABY ONIONS!"

Fucking right.

Edit:

Fuck You, Dave Greenaway

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:25:03 GMT

After seeing your post, I decided to drop a lot of money and buy an iPod touch. I will get it on Saturday.

Now just have to figure out what to do with my perfectly good iPod Nano.

Attention: Chase Morrison

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 03:09:34 GMT

Chase (circa first-third year) reincarnated into a Jamaican Rasta mon. This guy is hilarious. His laugh is the new my laugh.

This Is Incredible But...

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 15:58:39 GMT

You need to read this article... immediately. http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/01/03/skyscraper.fall.survivor.ap/index.html

This is incredible... buuuuuuuuuuttt... someone at the House of Pain needs to top this. 48 stories. Let's discuss landing methods.

Dave W, Clint, Bryson... are you in on this?

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 04:55:06 GMT

http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/12/23/drunk.santas.ap/index.html

Clearly.

Wait a second...

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 03:23:13 GMT

Dave W, Bryson Parks and I all have short hair. The sweet hair is no more. My heart hurts. Are we real human beings now?

Operation, bush out... our.. uh.. heads... is under operation.

2007 Is On It's Way Out

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:37:04 GMT

Which can only mean that the 2007-2008 season is under way.

And what can that possibly mean?

Yea. That's what that means. Sheed is still around. And he's comin after cha... with a rusty shank. Bitches.

Walking Home

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 09:25:20 GMT

So I was walking home today when, from the corner of my eye, I saw a cat on the curb cleaning itself. It licked its paw... then rubbed its face. I immediately thought about Clint Lee.

Go shorty, it's your birfday

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 05:40:08 GMT

A very happy birthday goes out to my little (who's not so little anymore) sister on her 20th birthday.

Ew. You're in your twenties.

Raptors, Raptors, Raptors!

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 04:08:51 GMT

Living in South Korea, Getting up at 8am and Being VERY Hungover are things that cannot stop me from continuing to watch the Toronto Raptors.

Got up this morning at 8am to catch the Raps take on the Nets in NJ. 106-69 was the final score... hah.. what a spanking! Andrea Bargnani will be an all-star sometime soon. Delfino and Kapono were solid pickups. Our point-guard combo is the best in the league. Calderon could be a starter on most teams in the league.

Throughout the summer/fall, I've read several hundred basketball articles. It's usually the first thing I do when I get up... have breakfast and catch up on some basketball news. Every sports journalist who doesn't cover Toronto is not giving Toronto a chance. Most have predicted them being worse than last year stating that they haven't changed their roster enough. Most-to-all of the articles I've read also predict the Raps are likely to finish behind Boston, New Jersey (and some even say NEW YORK!) in the Atlantic Division standings. Overall, the consensus is they'll finish somewhere between 6-8th in the East.

Why? I'm no basketball expert but if you look at most of the successful teams in the NBA, you'll notice they hardly ever add several big-name players or mixup the roster during the offseason. The Pistons have had the same core now for a while (minus Ben Wallace) and they usually do great. San Antonio has always played around Parker, Duncan, Ginobili, Bowen, etc and they're always cashing in Championships. Adding new players or mixing up the entire roster is not a recipe for success. The longer a team gets to play together, the better they'll gel and the more games they'll win. That's exactly what Toronto's doing. Aside from adding a few pieces, the core of the team is pretty much identical to last year. That's what Bryan Colangelo has in mind... keep the same players together... get them to know each other on the court more... and they'll grow together.

I also don't understand the big fuss with Boston. Sure, they picked up Garnett and Allen in the off-season... but aside from them and Pierce, their team's garbage. Their point guard is too young, too unpredictable and totally unexperienced to be leading the team. They have no depth. It's ridiculous how the majority of "experts" are predicting them to not only finish first in the Atlantic... but these "experts" are also predicting they'll make the finals... and could even win. NO WAY! Like I said... no depth. Our backup units would destroy them... in fact, most teams backup units could destroy Boston's backup units. Garnett, Allen and Pierce are all all-stars... but once one... or two... or even all three get injured... it's over for them. We'll see how the Raps do against them this Sunday.

My predictions? The Atlantic will end up something like this:
Toronto
New Jersey
Boston
New York
Philadelphia

New Jersey and Boston are toss-ups... they could switch places.

With the Eastern Conference, I predict:
Chicago
Detroit
Toronto
New Jersey
Boston
Cleaveland
Washington
Orlando, Miami or Atlanta

Raptors will win 50+ games... more than last year... get into the second round of the playoffs. Inexperience will probably knock them out there. In terms of the NBA Finals, it's going to be any combination of Chicago/Detroit vs. San Antonio/Dallas/Phoenix

LeBron James will win an MVP if he can stay healthy. No way Dirk wins it again.

And if the Raptors find their way to the Championship, I'm leaving South Korea and coming home to catch live games at the ACC. I swear.

In Rainbows

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 05:40:39 GMT

So Radiohead just did something pretty cool... they released an album with no middle-man, large-corpation record label in the middle. Head over to http://www.inrainbows.com. The album is sold exclusively over the internet (for now, I assume)... and the best part? You get to name your price. You can pay 1 pence for the album, 100 pounds, or nothing.

I've only heard the first few songs here at work over my iPod, but I'm positive in saying that this is their best work since Kid A. It's nice hearing vocal tracks... it's been a while.

Reality kicking in...

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 03:39:56 GMT

I am not going to watch one live Toronto Raptors basketball game this year. This breaks my heart.

Californication

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 12:54:55 GMT

If I could recommend one thing, it'd be to start watching this show. There's only 4 episodes out right now... it plays on Showcase... or you can catch it on http://www.alluc.org

Yea.

Awesome

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:39:18 GMT

Dear world,

Thank you for giving me this. I am forever thankful.

Best Wishes,

Gilad Cohen

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 06:16:16 GMT

I'll let the video speak for itself.

Moron.

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:12:26 GMT

Troy Glaus. Steroids? YOU took steroids? Why? Why would YOU take steroids? You're an overgrown bag of shit whose worth to the team is miniscule. We would trade you had our idiot GM not signed you to an untradeable contract that nobody in their right mind would ever offer you. Steroids? Seriously? YOU took steroids?

Whenever you come up at bat now, the average-fan will automatically link you to steroids. Anytime you hit a home run, the average fan will automatically link you to steroids. Glaus has refused to comment on the situation, but if scenarios like this have taught us anything, it's that players usually refuse to comment on the situation... they deny, deny, deny, hoping that the controversy will eventually go away. But it never does. The stench can follow a player right into retirement (look: Mark McGwire).

Anytime a player is linked to steroid allegations, their public image is automatically tarnished (i.e. Giambi, Bonds, Palmeiro, etc). Troy Glaus, your time was eight years ago, and although you aren't linked to any steroid shipments while playing for Toronto, you still remain a huge bag of shit for doing that.

Moron.

Without Further Adew

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 04:01:34 GMT

After months of production and hype, Woo-College Productions is proud to announce it's release of the trailer for "The Battle For The House of Pain." Watch as the much loved group, The House of Pain, try to reclaim their own stomping grounds on Ezra. You will laugh. You will cry. You will get high and eat your sorrows away.

Enjoy.

Oh, and that's not a pee stain. Jeh.

Annyong Haseo!

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 04:33:14 GMT

... or however you spell "hello" in Korean.

Anyway, Dawna and I arrived here safely... thanks to everyone who was involved in our lives the last few weeks and thanks to everyone who wished us well on our journey.

We're both worn out... haven't slept in G-d knows how long... but as soon as I'm back and kicking, i'll update with pictures and everything.

Again, thanks to all our friends.

My final week in Canada

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 03:46:46 GMT

As I sit back and dwell on the events of the past week, I slowly realize that my luck has run thinner than the Jays' chances of making the playoffs.

About a week ago, I got into a stupid car accident and quickly learned that I wrote off the vehicle. Not only was the car completely wrecked, but it wasn't my car... it was my fiancee's father's car. It gets worse though... I wasn't insured on the car (I had no reason to be... I wasn't supposed to be driving the car), so as a result, Ken's (Dawna's dad) insurance is the one that takes a hike. So here I am, with about 5 days left in Canada, scrambling to find a way to buy Ken a new car, while at the same time, work out a way to pay his insurance hike. Oh, and the other car that got hit was worth $125,000. How many cars on the road are worth that much? Probably less than 5%.

So how could the bad luck well run drier than a bucket of gravy in the hands of Carli Rota? Well, the next day, I slipped into my beautiful marble & wood TV stand (which is part of a set), knocked the entire thing over, and destroyed my 32" television, DVD player, and 5-disc CD stereo. Oh, I also put a nice hole into the hardwood floor.

Lets not get ahead of ourselves. I got a call yesterday from the towing company and they tell me I owe them $275 for the towing. Great... rob my money two days before I leave.

But it gets better... or worse... depending on which way you look at it. A few months ago, I realized my Apple MacBook's built-in webcam was a little grainier than usual and that I better head off to Best Buy to get it fixed (my AppleCare warranty had expired, but I had purchased an extended warranty with Best Buy). I finally got the computer back today (22 days after I gave it to them), which is also coincidentally the night before I leave to South Korea. How lucky and such great timing... phew! I'll have a laptop in Korea. I turn the laptop on and realize that the camera wasn't fixed at all. On top of that, the computer doesn't recognize that it has a battery anymore, so the second it gets unplugged, the laptop shuts off. Great! They broke the battery. It's nice knowing you pay all this extra money for warranty... especially when it takes them 22 days to send you something that's more broken than before it was repaired.

So here I am, at 11:50pm of August 22nd of 2007, with one less car, a heck of a lot less money, no TV stand, a broken TV, broken DVD player, broken stereo, mangled webcam, and apparently... no battery on my laptop... with about 24 hours left in this country.

My plan is to storm into Best Buy tomorrow and demand a new battery on the spot. My chances of getting one? Probably slim.

At least I have tomorrow to look forward to. 14 hour flight... 8 hour layover... and another hour flight.

At this rate, let's just hope the plane doesn't go down in flames. So for what it's worth, please pray. Thanks.

Beh

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:25:34 GMT

Life needs to get better, immediately.